The charm of the Sunday afternoon

Today...in the afternoon...I woke up with a heavy head..I felt tired, thirsty and weak..last night we had a party with friends and colleagues not far away from Budapest, in the garden of a guy from our team.  My friend Zs gave me a ride there, and we were rather toned by the time we got to the place, as we were listening to Daft Club on the way there...it seemed a bit movie like..2 girls, riding in the car, listening to very loud, electronic music, passing people, staring at us..then on the highway we met a caravan of cars, that were lead, and backed up by police cars, and policemen on motorbikes..at first we thought it was some important person being accompanied, but the multitude of cars enclosed between the police was strange...then we saw the ribbons on the cars, and it turned out that those cars belonged to people going to a wedding...we passed them by, and..there was a moment when it felt like I'm only dreaming it all...never thought something like that can happen..a wedding party backed up by the police...it was like a movie coming alive, and me being a part of it!  I was already curious to see what the next chapter has in store for us :)

And well, in the next chapter we arrived to our friend, sat down, and were delighted to see and taste the great variety of cheeses, wine and lots of other snacks.  People kept on arriving until 9ish, and at the end  we had about a party of 20 people.  It felt great to be away from the city, to sense the chilly August breeze on our arms, to smell the smoke originating from the fire, on which the guys were grilling salmon and vegetables.  As the night covered us with its velvety blanket, our spirits started to rise...maybe due to the number of drinks that slipped down on those thirsty throats :) Though it was getting a bit cold, nobody seemed to be freezing, people's faces were beaming, and laughter was echoing from everywhere.  Little by little, we got rid of any convention...any ties that make the people behave in a certain way when they are in a certain company..based on what the expectations of this company are, and also based on how they would like the others to perceive them...these "masks" and "rules" have dissolved, and people let the steam off....I like it when we reach this stage, because that is when I can take a deeper journey to other people's soul...I know how they behave, or think when they are in a "bordered" environment, but I love to explore what is behind the borders...and see the other side of the coin too.  Last night I was given the opportunity to make several journeys, that enabled me to colour the picture drawn by my soul of friends, based on earlier perceptions.  I was joyous to see how those pictures came alive by adding some vivid colours, and deeper shades of violet and emerald green to the portrait.  I had some very honest conversations, and people shared things with me to which I was blind till now...also I learned a lot..about focusing on the road, and not on the goal, about being faithful to myself, even if it brings with itself the indignation of others....these talks placed my vision of some people into a new light, a light in which, hidden desires, dreams, visions could be seen and discovered.  That night it was a full moon, it shone with all her glory on the merry company of ours, silently smiling, and making us believe, that everything we dream of is within our reach.  I stared at her, and the stars that tried to get near her...she showed her strength, in a gentle, but determined way...because those stars that got too close to her were outshone by her diamond glimmer...she was up there, out of reach for everyone who tried to capture, and own her...I thanked her for sharing that night with us, for providing me the light, in which so many new faces of my friends could be discovered.  To make the night truly memorable, I even managed to see a falling star, a traveler that has left behind numerous kilometers, battling time and distance and every other hurdles the Universe put in its way...only to fulfill its fate...to disappear in front of my eyes in the fraction of a second...giving me the pleasure of releasing a wish from the prison of my heart.

The night for me ended at around 3 AM. I traveled home in the car of a colleague, and was very thankful for that, as I would not have had the energy to lay down in the garden, and wake up after 2 or 3 hours of sleep to catch the early train to the city.  After arriving home, I got rid of my clothes and fell into bed...did not even have time to take a shower...I slept till about 10:30 and woke up with a somewhat sore head...and some hunger in my stomach.  I knew in that moment, that this day will be designated to the silent resting..as I still felt out of power.  After some breakfast (lunch?) I spent some time trying to make my second room look a bit more cozy.  The thing is..my flatmate moved out...she came to the stage in her life of founding a family on her own, in her hometown....so now her room is empty..and it seemed truly dead after she took away all the furniture, curtain and decorations.  It felt so sad to look in there, that I could not bear it, so today I rearranged some things in my room, and carried over some stuff to the other one...I'm satisfied :) it's looking much more comfortable now...I'm thinking I will make it to be my studio...my base, where I will be dealing with things that help me "feed" my artistic and creative me.  Once I'll have my camera, I hope to store my best shots there! 

Then...lead by the gentle touch of an instinct, I turned on my radio.  The following song was playing there (I need to share it, because otherwise the feelings, experiences attached to the mood it created in me cannot be transmitted completely to the reader): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHU2r3-VUzY&feature=related It is a song from Malcolm Mclaren, called "About her".  I laid down and let myself be carried away on the wings of its tunes...I closed my eyes, and saw forests..cliffs, oceans...and a girl...searching...at least for the first time it looked like she is searching...but in fact it was not a search..there was nothing troublesome, worrying, or hurrying in the act of hers...so I realized, she was not searching, because...because... she had it all, she was content, smiling, and only exchanging love with the world...inhaling the sweet fragrance of the mountain breeze, bathing in the fresh streams, letting the waterdrops playing with her skin, feeling the solidity of the mountain in her heart, and the power of the water flowing through her veins, and in return, letting the love of her heart embrace the world, sharing the brillance of her inner world with the Universe..nature, that understands her ....She was there...but not where people would look for her.

 After the song ended, I was still  laying on my bed, curled up...when the moment of "perfect Sunday afternoon" just rushed at me.  There were no cars passing by on the street, I could hear the faraway noise of the city through the opened windows.  The room was bathing in the light of the sun that already made more than halfway through of his journey accross the sky.  You know, the light, intensity, the colour of the afternoon sunrays are much more different than those of the morning ones.  The morning sunrays enclose power, brightness, energy in themselves..they stimulate me to go and do something, to work, to reach out for what I need...they bring with themselves the hope, and courage..they carry inside the energy, the driving force that is needed to get what we dream of.  But the afternoon sunrays are much different...they are calmer, lazier..they inspire me for relaxing...after the hard work of the morning has been done...they fall heavy on my eyelids...there is a certain standstill in them...for a while they make me believe that the moment is frozen...and for some reason I feel like I do not want to break this immobility...in those moments I bow my head in front of the charm of the afternoon sun...I do as he asks, let myself fall...without objection, to the depth of the soft tranquility... only to find myself between huge pillows filled with the finest feathers upon arrival.  I was enchanted...I was surrounded by harmony, and felt a sort of contentment, that paralised me..I could not...and did not want to move...just wished to give myself completely to the moment, to be able to savour every single taste it has to offer...to be able to be absorbed fully in it.....to give myself the satisfaction of melting into its yellow green melancholy.