Why is it that sometimes my senses capable of capturing the world's very finest vibrations are so alert, that I hardly manage to recognize the "normal" world seen by others around me, and I tend to walk like a lunatic fascinatation accompanying my every step? Why is it that I love the rain, and grow thoughtful upon feeling the little beads of rain drops hitting my face? Why am I looking at the distant horizon, and the starry sky, when Fate decides to make people take sharp turns, turns that end in a road noone can estimate where it could be leading to?
As usual by now, I left the office late today...so it is with people who don't really need to rush home, as noone is waiting for them..they tend to become absorbed in work, in a good way...not because it's a burden, hard to bear, rather because it keeps them, busy, and maybe this way they can "fool" themselves with a fake feeling of being useful..but then again, I could be wrong.
I stepped out of the building and as I made my way towards the subway station I sensed a remarkable change in the "setting" around me. The road next to the sidewalk is usually very crowded, and noisy, the asphalt exhaling gasoline. On the left, huge buildings keep watch of the slowing heartbeat of the city, then a bit further ahead old buses wait patiently for the clock to crawl ahead until getting to a point that sets things in motion, engines roaring, passengers running, doors closing and those old chaps start their usual patroling.
Today however, it was different...the main street was not so noisy as it ought to have been, the giant buildings seemed to have pulled themselves together, as if wanting to defend themselves from something dark and dangerous that was about to tumble down on the city. The buses were yawning, and only a coughing sound could be heard when the driver attempted to start up the engine. The city around me seemed to be waiting for something...the arrival of something powerful. At this point, I looked up and I saw it. The sky above me was about to be swallowed by a monstrous cloud that bore the spectrum of black, blue and grey, and all the possible shades in between...yet as moments passed the shades of lighter blue and grey seemed to give up the fight and have melted completely into the threatening smokey black mass. The contrasts between dark and light have disappeared, only leaving a blur behind, contours lost, saturation becoming insufficient. Poor street lamps tried to fulfill their duty, but in this new, brusque world without the warm tinges of brown, orange and red, their glamor turned to a sort of fluorescent glory, that was hard to lay eyes upon, and certainly did not feel comforting.
The world underneath the surface did not keep any special suprises however. Tired people on the subway, some on their way home, some on their way to meet with friends. I knew, that I would not take the tram home...no...not today...I had to walk. I had to feel the rain...I had to feel the wind's strong grip around me...trying to free me from my coat, bag, all my belongings. I walked home. I like it, that when it's raining as there are less people on the street, making the city seem a bit calmer, a bit more understanding...bit more motherly...in these moments I can imagine she truly cares for me...I can feel that she is happy to be relaxed, welcoming towards the little raindrops refreshing her, cleaning her from the dust settled insolently in her pores.
Yeah..the walk in the city is certainly not to be compared to the walks in the countryside. It's more sad here...somehow I miss the smells...the breath of the rain evaporating through to pores of the damp forest, through the wet leaves, the moss, the grass, the bark of the trees...when I was at home, this past weekend I took a walk after the rain, and I could feel my lungs greedily feasting on the fresh air that embraced the hills, fields and forests..those little oxygen molecules triggered an electric shock in my veins, and I could feel the new life hastingly rushing up and down my body, filling all my cells with joy, contentment and assurance that life is beautiful.
The rain in the city though...makes me thoughtful instead. Makes me dwell on gifts we possess, but don't use, because we might not even know about their existence...on challenges that come our way, though we are not yet prepared for them, and do not even know, whether we have the strength to tackle them....on love that's like water, hard to keep at control, but does fit the shape of its container...on fate, the mighty empress we long to understand, but at one point stop fighting against and let her take the lead, tossing us on a road that suits us most, this way ensuring we learn what we are meant to learn, we see what we are meant to see, and hopefully along the way, understand a bit more of the mystery hidden behind the veil of reasons.
No comments:
Post a Comment