It's going to rain..

After a long time, this is the first weekend I spend here in Budapest..lately all my Fridays had the same "routine"..working, rushing from work, either home to pack and get to bed early, to be able to wake up at dawn the next day and travel...or just rushing to the train station to go home.  But yesterday was different...I stayed in the office till long...though I had all the chance, I did not want to go home.  At the beginning of the week I was looking forward to spend some time on my own, to give me the chance of putting certain things to their fitting place within me..but now, here I am, the clouds have covered the sky completely, it became dark, though it is almost noon, and I feel lost...I feel so, because despite of all the precious books, with so much wisdom, despite the valuable advices of my friends, I'm still not able to help myself. There is still a broken bridge between what my brain says, and what my heart whispers. There is a huge storm within me...with lots of rain and hail, and my soul's boat is almost lost on the dangerous waves, the strong, and wicked wind creates...To be honest I've never experienced such an enduring storm before, and I feel like I'm so desperate to spot a bird, that will assure me that the beach...some land..is close now, where I can just finally touch the ground...the stability..get rid of the shakiness of the angry sea, that I'm constantly gazing at the horizon...and I'm just sailing, and holding on...I'm tightening my grip on the ropes, the wind blows into my face, the raindrops obscure my vision, and my hope is fading away day by day....sometimes the storm weakens a bit, and I rejoice, though there is no land spotted yet, at least I can have an easy "ride" on the smooth waters, but just when I start to have faith, a lightning occurs out of nowhere, thunder arrives, and I need all my strength again to survive...to keep on going and not give it up...to keep on dreaming about an harbour, where my ship will rest, my knees will touch the sand, and my arms embrace the missing part of my soul..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_YJhmGKTxk

Great song I love to listen to while sitting by the window and watching the rain....