Life is full of surprises...before I left for the camino, I thought I will come home, and will write down thousands of remarks, will tell about how each day passed, what I've seen, what adventures I've been through etc....but now, as I am at home, I have taste for something else...
I've walked part of the camino, and I experienced the following things:
To walk the way is truly as the walk of life. When I was there, I hardly thought of the parallelism, the symbols, the signs, what each and every step meant. Now that I am back, and I relive every moment of the way, and the little pieces of the mosaic seem to fit together, creating a colourful piece of art. You start the way with many dreams, illusions, expectations, fears, anxiety and also excitement. Though you might not want, there are pictures flowing into your mind about how it will look like, how it will feel to get to certain places, what kind of people you will meet, what adventures you'll go through.
Then you start to walk. There are days, when the sun is shining, on others, there is a harsh wind blowing, on anothers it is raining heavily...you may check the weather forecast, they can give you an estimate, you can prepare your raincoat, but it is never 100 percent sure..better just be prepared, and pull out the raincoat when it truly starts to rain. If you like, you can walk fast...or you can take your time...you can take breaks, or you can push it to your limits, until your feet say "no more". You can set goals such as " I must reach this village by the afternoon, and find accomodation there" or you can take it totally easy, and say, I get as far as I get, I'll sleep wherever I'll find shelter...On some days the road is curvy, takes you up to the mountains, on others you are crossing the planes, without any significant elevation, on long and straight roads, you look ahead, and do not know where the road will take you in 15 kilometers, but you continue walking. The road is full of signs...you just need to follow them, and trust them, the signs left by "God"...if you look carefully, you will not be lost..if your attention is taken by other things, you might get off track, loosing the sight of the comforting signs. You might trust other pilgrims going ahead of you..and you just follow them, thinking they surely know the way...and they you end up being lost, because you did not take the responsibility of your own camino. There can be variants to the road, crossroads...you may decide to go left, or right...at first glimpse the road on the left might look nicer, but maybe it is not well signed, it is your choice, your decision which road you'll take. It is possible that the road chosen by you takes you to much nicer landscapes, less steep hills, and then you feel joy in your heart, because you do not regret your decision. But it can happen that you choose the way, that makes you get lost, and you need to make effort to find the right path again...you might feel lost, alone, and worried...without the comfort and security of signs, you do not know which direction to go to...so you take some extra miles, you look for something, that could lead you back to your camino, maybe you'll see the top of a church and you'll go that way, hoping, that there you can ask for advice. You might have an idea of how far you will go on the given day, but unexpected things can happen, and at the end, no matter how irritated you feel, you need to realize, that to go on was a wrong choice and you need to return, from where you started. It takes effort too, and patience...the way back is always longer, more tiring, the landscape might feel to be boring...but you need to correct your mistake...your are responsible for your camino. You'll meet people from all over the world...with some, you start the camino together, but you'll never see them again. Some you meet time to time...in a shelter, where you decide to sleep, or on the road...with some of them, you share a good wine, and change ideas...from some of them you learn, some of them you teach...some of them support you, some of them you support...some people give you advices "no don't follow the yellow arrows, just go right, then straight till you reach the bridge, and it will take you to the same road as the arrows of the camino" if you take it, you may win time, but you might miss some beautiful places, the road would have originally taken you to..but again, it is your choice....sometimes, you take a road, that not many do...they might criticize you for your choice...but it is your road, your life, you need to have enough courage to defend your decision, feel good about it, and take responsibility for it...as for others it could have been a bad choice, but for you it might be the right one...if not, you learn from it, and will be more alert next time....some road you might look at and say "ohh no, that is a horrible road" you make prejudices, but by walking on it, you discover the little flower by the road, or the precious stones under your feet, and you learn, not to make prejudices any more...one day you feel like you could walk 50 kilometers, on others you might feel like you are lazy, or your feet are hurting, and you'd just like to take it easy...some people walk while only looking at the ground, marching...some are slow, looking around, up to the sky, decide to lay on the field for a while and sing...it is again...your choice, what you feel more suitable for yourself...some people plan their way..divide it into pieces, decide how far they'll go, what and when they will reach..they feel euforic and proud when they do, what has been assigned...they have a goal, the goal is to reach a certain place every day...and upon accomplishing it, they feel relieved...it is good, to have so much strength to keep going on, no matter what..but there is a threat...one day, the final goal is accomplished as well...and then they feel broken...they want to keep on going, they need more goals, more accomplishments, they are not ready, or able to finish...they have not grown strong enough...but there are others, who bear in mind the goal, and are aware that they need to follow the path to reach it, but they give in to a bit of spontaneity, and also enjoy the road itself...the beauty, the surprises, the hardships it might bring...for them, the end of the camino is only a station, only a new beginning...they don't thrive for more, they do not feel sad about the end of the road, about the final goal being accomplished..they are happy becuase they store in their hearts all the moments of the road, all the lessons learned, all the joy, that was gifted to them throughout their journey. Also in life, we create so many goals...I need to get here, I need to have this, I need to become this, and when all accomplished, we are always looking for more, we cannot be satisfied, we need the good feeling that comes when the goal is achieved...there is something moving us from inside, urging us, that will chase away the peace and harmony of the soul...the soul that loves to gaze at the sunset for hours, enjoys conversing with the night stars, and is ready to whisper to us and give us guidance when we are lost. The soul that never looses sight of the signs of God, the soul that understands the importance of choices.
Sometimes the terrain you walk is good for your feet, and you feel like running, sometimes it is rocky, and you might slip...in those times you need to pay more attention, to avoid an injury...sometimes after the rain the mud is so deep it sticks to your shoes and doubles the weight of it. Sometimes you need to walk up and up and up, sometimes just down...at other times completely flat. Sometimes you cannot see because the sun makes you blind, and sometimes the rain is so heavy and everything around you is so grey, that you can hardly make out what is a couple meters next to you. Sometimes the landscape changes every kilometer, your mind is "photographing" the beauty around you in every second...and sometimes you need to walk the whole day among vineyards, making your trip boring after a while, but you endure, and excitedly look forward to what the road has in store for you, because it is your dream to walk your camino, to get to a little creek, with small waterfalls hidden in the depths of an ancient forest, so you take strength from the well of your dreams, and walk the less enjoyable part of the road as well.
To walk the road, requires a lot of courage...there are times, when you reach a dark forest and you are afraid, but in spite of that, the sign reassures you that that is road you need to take. So you take it, confront your fears, and fill your heart with hope. Once you get out of the dark forest, and you learn to appreciate the sunlight, and the blue sky. To walk the road, you need trust, and faith. You need to trust, that there will be a shelter where you can sleep, and give rest for your body...you need to trust that you'll meet someone who can help you out, if your feet is swollen, or you have no water left, that God will send you someone so that you'd be able to continue your way. You need to be open, in your heart, to let the nature and its beauty touch your heart, paint your face brown, fill your lungs with fresh air, and sweep out the chamber of your brain completely, blowing away all unnecessary worries, fears, and prejudices, letting the joy of life entering, and setting you free.
The camino is the same and at the same time different for everyone..the beginning and the end is the same...the road there, and all that is lived through is much diverse, never the same experience for any of the people who walked the way. The experiences gained there, the joyous and tough moments, the beauty of the nature, the friendships, the nice dinners, the sleepless nights, the impulsive and strange dreams opened new gates for me..the gates of faith, will, and courage to take all responsibilty for the camino de la vida walked by me. It helped me understand, that the road has its hills and valleys, forests and plains, but it is my responsibility to walk it, to enjoy it...it is only up to me how I take it, whether I let the little struggles, mistakes, bad choices bond me, cage me in, and enslave me, or I'll view them as experiences that helped me face my fears and worries, things that made me stronger, and prepared me for steeper hills, and extra miles....signs that taught me that sometimes, after a bad choice we need to make effort, walk all the way back, and start again, renewed inside, filled with hope and trust that the new variant of the road will lead me back to my path.
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