A rainy Sunday..

The sunny morning has now been replaced by a gloomy afternoon..the clouds seem to favour our city lately, they tend to hold their gatherings here, giving a darker, more blunt tone to the streets, buildings, windows, and people too.  The darkness crept into my room slowly, I did not even have the chance to realize when it took over, but as my bed, carpet, shelves and plants surrendered to its sticky power, acknowledging its authority, I was in need of lighting a candle to steal a bit of light into the black kingdom.  I cannot help it, I love these afternoons, no rush, no disturbing noise entering the flat from outside..only the splashing sound of water as time to time the wheels of the passing cars ride over the puddles, little black holes collecting the tears of the giant clouds.  This is the time for cuddling, taking my righteous place on the bed, or the sofa, finding a soft blanket, curl up underneath, and listen...listen to the silence, the monotone, yet calming music of the little raindrops hitting the roofs of the parking cars, and the ground...I just love to watch the window, how its transparent glass is getting foggy, as the cold air of the outside meets the warmth of my breath...the glass serves as a border, an unbreakable barrier separating the two worlds...The cool breeze of the outside wants to touch the soft hands of the timid warmth I exhale, but the glass will always be there..between them..it is a solid manifestation of the limits both sides can reach to, preventing them to be able to melt into each other...and as a result, new creatures are formed, tiny little watermolecules are formed on its surface...I could have gazed at the apparition for hours, but I had an invitation to the movie theater tonight, so unwillingly I got up and started to put some clothes on.

The tram was rather empty, it was raining, and being a Sunday, most of the people have found shelter in the protective hands of their comfortable homes.  As I was sitting there, ready to listen to some music on my MP3 player, a man approached me, and offered his newspaper (Homeless)..I took some money out of my pocket, and handed it to him, did not intend to take his paper, but he insisted.  I started to read it, and there was the story of the little seed in it...I thought, this time rather applicable to me.  The story described the life of the little seed, how it is there, under the ground, surrounded by the protective shells, in security...and yet the little seeds chooses to leave this safe environment behind, decides to take a risk, and plunge into the unknown..as it starts its journey away from its safe shelter, the hardships appear...when she is not a seed any more, she needs to face the difficulties of life, she becomes weak and vulnerable...she needs to fight the rough soil.  She might think..why all this misery, I do not even know where I am going...if there will at all be joy and beauty at the end of this road paved by suffering...she could have just stayed in the protective shells for another thousand years, where nothing was threatening her..but instead she took the risk...then the little seed gets a glimpse of the sunshine, and pulls all her strength to work her ways towards it.  Finally she becomes a beautiful flower giving joy to everyone and everything around her.  The adventure she took was worthwhile, she developed to be the true beauty  that was all the time hidden deep within her...it was a catching story, and I was a bit puzzled, as it seemed a bit contradictory to me that it was published there, in the paper of the Homeless people...

The movie was great, I enjoyed it, filled with special elements, and entertaining effects.  As I exited the cinema, I realized that it is still raining, and I had no umbrella...yet I had the taste to walk home.  I could have just taken the tram, but I needed to walk..I needed to discover the secrets of this rainy night.  As I walked on the streets, the rain was getting harder and harder...soon my hair got completely wet, and I could feel the raindrops rolling down my face, as if they were my own tears...my shoes got wet too, as I walked into several puddles along the way.  I stopped or a while, to take a look at the spectacular view of the city, the Danube below my feet was rather reckless and dreadful, the bridges were shining, but they seemed to be further than usual in the dim light.  I met no people on the way home, the streets were deserted, and I took joy in pausing by the streetlamps, because in their light, the thickness of the rain became more visible.  It might have seemed silly to anyone looking down on me from behind the windows..walking, enjoying the rain...but I did not mind...I wanted to get wet, I felt like with the rain, all my guilt, sorrow, and fear is washed away...my soul started to lift its broken wings, I could feel the contentment running through my veins....I was purified....