Let's imagine that we are in a room, comfortable sofa, plants by the window, joyful colours all over, a bookshelf full of very interesting books. Candles are burning, the room smells nicely thanks to the insense sticks burning, a gentle melody is playing, and we are happy...the gazing of the candles fills our heart with happiness, and we think we managed to find the utmost joy, we feel happy and free...
Now..I have not mentioned it, but this is a special candle...it can be only lit by a certain person..and this person decided to walk up there, and extinguish the light..and he walks out of the room..so what happens? There is darkness all over..you cannot see the colours, the music disturbs you, because when you cannot see your ears tend to become more sensitive, this is a way of you trying to control the situation..so you'd like to hear something, to make sure you are all right, noone is going to hurt you, but you can't really hear due to the music. All the sudden you are not so happy any more..you are sitting there, paralyzed, your heart racing, afraid, in despair, doubtful.
If only you could light up those candles...but you cannot...or..can you ?
The description above I would have liked to share, so that our attitude to happiness could be easier explained. For example when we are in love..we are very happy...it makes us content that the person we love, loves us too...and in order to maintain his/her affection towards us, we are even willing to do things, that will make us even more "wanted" by the other person. We loose ourselves a bit, because we became let's use a sharp expression.."drugged"...we are happy if he/she shows that he/she loves us, if he/she sends us message, if he/she suprises us and so on. That is no problem, if at the same time other things can make us content too...the stars, the sunset, even if it is contemplated alone...if we start to lament, saying..ahh this is nice, all right, but it would only be perfect if he/she was here to see this with me...then...we shall realize that we are not in charge of the light any more...we are in a way directed/controlled by another person (it can be another thing too, mmm...recognition in work, or the attention of friends etc. but to use the idea of another person seemed to be easier) we laid the matches on the palm of the guardian of our happiness. It is really easy to do, we might not even be conscious about it. We shall be alert though. Why? Because if this person, who lit our candle, suddenly decided to blow the candle, we become stressful, sad, we start to blame ourselves, our self esteem sinks, and we might even get depressed, just like in the dark room. There is a feeling of complete uncertainty. We trusted this person so much, we thought by giving him/her the matches, he will always protect the light, and the darkness will not threaten us any more. However he/she might not have been even aware that we gave him/her the most valuable of our belongings, the magic matches..therefore he/she shall not be blamed for leaving and extinguishing the light. He/she could have thought, that we have another set of matches laying somewhere on the table. But it serves as a good lesson..this person showed us..taught us, that we are responsible for our own light, and that we shall never give away those matches. We should enclose it in our hearts.
Now, when it is the question of the candle in a room, it is easy to think, that we should take things into our hands, find a lighter quickly and light the candle, but when we are talking about our happiness it is a different issue...it is difficult to look into ourselves, fight the battle facing our toughest enemies, all our worries and fears. It might even seem hopeless to find the matches again, the matches that will enable us, to light up the candle of happiness in our hearts. But we shall endure, we have experienced the dark room of loneliness and certainly we would not wish to find ourselves there again.
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