Caravansary

Time can get cruel..time can be precious...time can be too long, or too short...it is all relative..5 more minutes of sleep in the morning is so valuable, 5 minutes before your beloved one arrives is an eternity...I have been thinking much about time lately..how it plays a big role in our lives...we have watches, we have calendar, we are able to measure the time, the days are determined by the movement of the sun and the moon, the changing of the season can give us another schedule as to how the year changes..often I wished a day would consist of 48 hours...but then, if it was so, a day would still be very short when I would be doing what I please...I would not be able to fit more things to it, because I would be used to "plan" for 48 hours instead of 24...basically..it is done so that we should have time for whatever we really want, the question is, whether we really want it. 

Many people told me lately that time will solve, and also sort out everything.  For this I started to hate time...because I grew very impatient, I felt like time is fighting a bloody battle with me, and for sure he is to win, because I'd want everything to be sorted so very much, though I know it is not up to me to make the time go faster...and then...if the time goes faster...it does not mean, that linerally my heart will also grow easier..nope, there is a time for everything, for the sowing, as well as for the harvesting.  By now, I start to realize, that I cannot win against time, so I rather start to make peace with him..eventually we might even become friends. I try to understand that time is soothing my wounds, in fact, it was not him who caused them, but by his secret potion, he is trying to heal them..I realized that until the time when I shall look upon some memories with a different attitude, I shall grow myself as well...get stronger in the soul, and develop inside.  It is really so that we are able to grow the most, when something unpleasant happens to us...seems like the things we do not symphatize much with - pain, patience and time are the best character builders...

Endless time..this expression made me think a lot when I was younger..I just could not capture it, the idea of infinity...for me since I am a human, there was always a beginning and an end..but these days I am gifted with some moments, which seem to pull me out of the world, that is bordered by time.  When I am still..either standing by the river, or listening to raindrops hitting the street, and the roofs, when I watch over the city from the hill, when I contemplate nature (sunset, stars, moon) I feel like everything is concentrated in that moment..and...my brain tells me, this is impossible, because a moment is too short for that...even a lifetime is too short for that, but my heart and soul knows it is true...those are my personal experiences, that might be called in a way the "corridors" of infinity...they help me capture the essence of endless time..

Listening to this song for example presented me some of such peculiar moments:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ts8EvIwBdM

Today, a question raised in me.  Why is it so that people like to sleep so much when they can hear the rainfall outside? I even dowloaded some meditational music, where there is no music, just the raindrops, and it always helps me to fall asleep and calm down.  Nature is really capable of marvelous things.  To be honest, I do not know what is the connection, but I shall pay attention...and try to find some answers for it in the future.

The list of my joys for today is not one of which I'd be proud of....hmmm...I was even thinking that I shall name this note as "material girl".  The reason being is that...well..in the afternoon, after work, and after my ritual walk along the river, I ended up in a shopping mall with a friend, where I purchased a pair of boots, and a turtle neck, and ouu yeah...it made me smile.. For my excuse serves, that I also had a nice little chat with my poor, sick flatmate&friend, aaaaand I made a very taste tuna salad (for the first time in my life!) for supper, which I enjoyed very much, and the weather was very beautiful today, even the sun was shining, I took a long time to walk home, and did not miss to marvel at the sky upon sunset, it had a very lovely shade of purple. 

I'd write some more, but I need to go to bed...I already see myself...at 4:45 AM...struggling to start a new day.....a new, hopefully adventorous and happy day!