Today has really been a gorgeous day...
Waking up was just awful, but lately it is not such a big surprise, not sure what it is, maybe the midwinter tiredness, if such a thing exist, but...every time the alarm goes off, I just tend to switch it off, trying to win 5 more minutes of peace, calmness and cuddling in the bed, but then..after 5 minutes I want another 5 minutes, and another 5 minutes, and it is never enough...so I did not manage to get up so early as I wished...
The day in the office was fine, had a marvelous coffee break with a friend, then an amazing lunch with 3 of my friends, a very entertaining chat with a colleague, and I was even donating blood today, which is never the same, today it went really easy...withouth any troubles whatsoever...I pumped the blood, it went into that plastic container, I was done, gave my seat away, so that the others would not have to wait in queue for so long and off I was..I think it must be about the 10th time I was giving blood, I really hope they can use it and it helps somebody...
After work I was invited for a supper to a friend. She lives in the best district of the city, I love to go and visit her. Her flat is amazing, and well the way up there (it is next to the castle) is just breathtaking...I always get off a bus stop in advance, and from there I walk...and the difference is just remarkable! I got off and started to walk...then I took a turn right, there is a street which is perpendicular to hers, and from there one can take a glimpse of the city from above..the mountains, and all..well...I stood there for about half an hour and was thinking...I watched the moon (half moon) and the stars that were strong enough to outshine the street lamps, and I was just conversing with God..asking Him to let me win over the "dark night"...Maybe you remember, how in one of his books, Coelho mentions, that faith is like a dark night...(the book is called Brida...one of my favourite ones) He tells us, that we have the chance to populate the dark night with our fears, or...we have the opportunity to trust..trust that it will be all great...according to the wish of God...who helps us, therefore wants the best for us...I was thinking, that I am going through such a phase at the moment, where based on the current circumstances everything should go wrong (moreover..I will not explain the details..but I was even told that nothing will become better till the summer...) BUT! I looked up at the night sky and my heart was filled with faith, peace and hope...that the One up there must know it much better, what is good for me, and what is not...and I shall not populate my "dark night" with scary creatures...I should not anticipate bad things to happen, but I should rather trust and hope! So there I was and the city became so beautiful, so lovely...the work of men along the centuries, who built such a castle...such roads...wonderful...then I looked down to the street below and an old lady was walking slowly home..She stopped at an old house, with kinda...destroyed walls..took her keys from her old bag, and went in...for me...this scene was so...romantic/sad/true/ancient...I imagined the life of the lady, what she could be through...I imagined, that she inherited the flat, and now is living there alone, her kids further away from her...I do not really understand it, but I have such a sympathy for elderly people...I just love them...there way of living, talking...their tales, their manners...it is another dream world....
After this little intermezzo..I walked to my friend's flat and there was an astonishing supper awaiting for me..you see I really get a lot from life...time to time I even wonder if I deserve it all...there was nicely arranged tomato and mozzarella on my plate, a glass of red wine, and then some sticky banana cake...ahh...such a wondrous night, with the little wine particles traveling through our veins, good company, meaningful talks, a bit of dizzyness in the head, a bit of letting loose and experiencing freedom...a bit of letting all the worries go and concentrating on the dreams...the flavour of accepting what fate had in store for us, the motivation of looking ahead instead of chewing the bones of the past...it was really worth doing, I had a great time, and smiled a lot while we did yoga on the floor :)
On my way home, walking was rather unbelievable...my legs carried me, but I could not feel the steps so much...was rather gazing at the sky...then got to the tram stop, waited a little, became absorbed in an old french song, feet moving to the rhytm of the song when my yellow friend turned up...I hopped on, and enjoyed the way home...while I was listening to my song, memories from St. Petersburgh rushed at me..there was a morning, when after a loooong party, we decided to walk home...it was a long walk but we did not mind...we were sweating a bit, and our head was still filled with the melodies from the club and the steam of vodka...so we walked on the bank of the river Neva, and at one point we came to a halt...we were looking at the calmly swaying ships..and the waking sun...that was a moment I will preserve till the end of my life...at that moment I felt complete...nothing mattered...I felt happy, and nothing was missing...a very good friend was next to me..looking at the scenery...without words...I knew he felt what I felt...we were part of a miracle...and there was no goal, no need, nothing...it just happened to us...right there...in that moment...pink sky, sun...ships and the royal Neva...and tonight on my way home...I remembered this moment...the melody of this French song brought it back to me...it made me so happy I wanted to dance on the tram..my feet started to move and I am sure the guy next to me must have though there is something wrong with me...but I could not care less...my heart was filled with joy...
and upon getting off the tram, the tram driver smiled at me...a precious gift from the night...
No comments:
Post a Comment